Commencement

Fanfare.....

It is decreed that this very Wednesday morning, at around 9.30am, work that directly relates to the emergence of a home shall officially commence on our block.

Our cheerful land surveyor will have the honour of setting out the house for us.

This means that we will be able to walk around "inside" the house for the first time, see where it sits on the landscape, imagine where the walls, ceilings, windows, and doors will rise. Even get a better sense of front and back garden positioning.

Also humming along in the background we have concretor/excavator quotes, plumbing quotes, termite barrier quotes, and building permit application scrutiny. Frame and roof truss erection is also under control.

It all means that within a matter of weeks, some Very Serious Business is going to begin.

Building permit docs IN!

Is it wrong to break up via email?

Breaking off a relationship via email is not something I have ever had to consider since I have effectively been off the market since the 80's. (Previous relationships were conveniently ended by, among other things, planes whisking the object of my affection back to his own hemisphere, changes in sexual orientation (his, not mine), and Pat Cash insisting on sticking with his Swedish girlfriend at the time. Very fortunate for me, then, that Mr Laird came along before I could go off on anymore pointless excursions. Happy days.

So perhaps I was a little surprised to find myself writing two breakup letters this week and sending them via email. At first, Mr Laird was somewhat surprised, but I did point out that at least I hadn't done it by text. After a moment's consideration, he agreed that perhaps it was a reasonable way to go about things under the circumstances.

The thing is, when you have put a lot of time and effort into a relationship and you don't want the other party to think that you weren't ever appreciative or 100% committed at the time, it's important to choose your words carefully.

And that is how two out of my three kitchen company contenders were sent on their merry way.

I am pleased to say that we have remained friends.

Just waiting for something you will never see

We are quietly beside ourselves with excitement as we wait for something you will never see. Somewhere in Healesville a structural engineer has been working away on the slab design. Remember our over-reacting soil? It needs a special slab. I know it doesn't sound that thrilling but the reason for our excitement is that once we have whatever it is he is engineering in our hands, we can submit our building permit application. It's like finally passing over another hurdle that will lead to a new phase.

There has been a little bit of double-checking of information required etc with the building surveyor, to the point where he has said "just put the application in!". The problem is, we are trying to avoid unnecessary delays by making sure the application is A++ from the outset, whereas Mr Building Surveyor is probably happy for it to be a B application now, and for us to work it up to an A++. (I think this is only of interest to us - if you are reading this, then I am sorry but the whole original point of this bloggy blog was for us to keep a record for ourselves).

Anyway, back to the structural engineer - he told me Friday it should be ready Monday - it's now Tuesday. Waiting.

The Northern Estates

In celebration of the house-flattening finally happening, we went off this week to take the sea air. I propose that all Homemade House progress should be marked in this fashion. Motion: carried.

While the HH Holiday Week festivities were in full swing, the Northern Estates Maintainence Program ground on relentlessly, oppressing the tenants and poisoning the environment (or so the Head Tenant would have us believe). The little-known NEMP scheme, funded via the generous Homemade House Grants Authority, involves us paying clumps of money to enhance and maintain the 1860's cottage up in Castlemaine in return for the inhabitants alternately wanting us to pay them to do it, and complaining that having a freshly painted exterior does not fit with their vision of "quiet enjoyment" of the property.

Little did they know we had our crack team of painters ready to descend and whip that house into shape within three days -THREE DAYS! Amazing work - I can only hope that all our trades will be that efficient. As the photo below shows, they used some kind of Zen method involving sitting in a circle and worshipping a demi-god. Whatever works, I say!

Now let's reverse back to my Cunning Plan mentioned in an earlier post - re Homemade House paint colours. We have, in fact, used the Northern Estates as a giant paint sample. A stroke (geddit?) of genius by the head of the Special Ops Painting Team. Have only seen pics so far, but I'm liking the scheme - a small sample of which is provided below to satisfy the curious readers among you. To be confirmed when we head up there in a couple of weeks time.

The Tale of the Nightstalker (or, would you buy a kitchen from this man?)

Once there was a man of simple means. He lived with his wife in the normal domestic way, until the time he suffered a stroke, followed by a long period of rehabilitation. The day he came home from hospital, his wife confessed that she had demolished their kitchen during his time away. All that was left was the kitchen sink, propped up with two pieces of wood. Alas, they had no money for a new kitchen, so it stayed this way for 5 years.

Eventually, the time was right for that new kitchen. The formerly impetuous wife left our man to completely design it, purchase it, and install it. Not one word of input did she provide, apparently.

In fact, that kitchen was installed for over a month and still she said nothing to the husband: not a criticism, no praise, nothing.

Finally, in the still of the night, the husband awoke to discover his wife was not in the bed. He crept down the hallway to where a glimmer of light could be seen. There, standing in kitchen, was his wife. Just standing. Just looking. Saying nothing.

The husband crouched down in the darkness and watched his bride, careful not to alert her to his presence. For twenty minutes he stayed that way, watching her.

Eventually he thought, "bugger this" - and went back to bed.

THE END.


These are the conversations one must apparently endure when shopping around for a kitchen.

Time for some more pretty-pretty

So the house is down, and the land neatly flattened. Just a little more finessing and the site will be ready for its new era, our mark upon the Earth.

A call from the Lovely Building Company today confirmed that our full working drawings will be ready for me to collect tomorrow, whereupon the structural engineer can begin to craft that most under-appreciated of house components: the slab. I thought you got a chunk of concrete and just plonked it down, and whacked a house on top. Apparently not. In fact, it may even be cement and not concrete - who knows?! The structural engineer knows, that's who.

But enough of concrete and demolition, big boys toys and mounds of rubble. It's time for some more of the pretty stuff.

I keep telling myself and anyone else who will listen that I am jolly glad that we have had the lead in time and initiative to go on with other design matters whilst waiting for the actual construction to commence. I have spent countless hours on the kitchen, in particular. So here is how it is all panning out: the plan, the general style and colour scheme, and the handles:

What house?

The demo continues...

Let's get smashed!